Pastel Pencil on Pastelmat Paper
40 cm x 50 cm
2024
What Beauty Asks
by Amanda J Palmer
Why can’t I gaze for more than a moment?
Unbearable beauty—crashing into me,
poking my eyes,
slapping my face,
that lump you raise—
I try to swallow it whole.
I don’t want to hold you,
not even in memory—
but I retain a vague impression,
an amalgamation
of merciless sunsets and old faded loves.
Maybe this near-forgetting is self-protection?
What stays sharp is the ache.
All you ask is that I be present—
gentle in your violence,
cruel in your grace.
Sometimes you’re a window
to the transcendent and sublime.
What would life be without you?
Now, you’re a mirror—
reflecting the fleeting beauty of the world,
and I can’t bear to look.
I feel ashamed
when I turn my face away —
today, I am a coward.