Leaving A Piece Of Youth

Coloured Pencil on Paper
H:22.4 cm x W:22 cm
2021

When I was a small child, I killed a butterfly. When I saw what I had done I was appalled and horrified. For the first time I had tasted death and I knew what it was.

This year I lost two people I loved. I am not sure if they live on somewhere in spirit, but I know their remains will transform back into nature over time, back into many living things. This thought profoundly scares me, yet it also offers me solace. A sense of the transformative beauty that could be found in metamorphosis.

I am now 46 years old and I face my own changing nature. Time is racing by. I see myself aging now, the traces of my youth leaving. Again, I can taste death.

In Matt Haig'' The Comfort book,' in a chapter titled, 'Caterpillar', Haig compares the fate and struggles facing the caterpillar to that of our own.

'The greatest changes stem from the darkest experiences. We fall apart to become new. We go through the dark to fly in the sun.' (Matt Haig)

This self-portrait was made with love and fear and crayon on paper.

Leaving A Piece Of Youth

Coloured Pencil on Paper
H:22.4 cm x W:22 cm
2021

When I was a small child, I killed a butterfly. When I saw what I had done I was appalled and horrified. For the first time I had tasted death and I knew what it was.

This year I lost two people I loved. I am not sure if they live on somewhere in spirit, but I know their remains will transform back into nature over time, back into many living things. This thought profoundly scares me, yet it also offers me solace. A sense of the transformative beauty that could be found in metamorphosis.

I am now 46 years old and I face my own changing nature. Time is racing by. I see myself aging now, the traces of my youth leaving. Again, I can taste death.

In Matt Haig'' The Comfort book,' in a chapter titled, 'Caterpillar', Haig compares the fate and struggles facing the caterpillar to that of our own.

'The greatest changes stem from the darkest experiences. We fall apart to become new. We go through the dark to fly in the sun.' (Matt Haig)

This self-portrait was made with love and fear and crayon on paper.